Title: Keep My Heart
Author: Mirano Ottawa
Category: Angst with a pinch of fluff. No romance, sorry.
Characters: Sergio Ramos and Fernando Torres
Length: long hitter
Summary: If your heart is the only thing you can give, would you give it anyway?
Disclaimer: I do not own Fernando Torres and Sergio Ramos and it has nothing to do with reality.
It had been like that since he could remember.
Hospitals. VIP rooms. Beds. A bell next to his bed. A basket full of fruits on the table. Food tastes like shit. Doctors. Nurses. Their fake smiles. Their sayings to cure him, though he knew that he would never be cured. Difficulty at breathing. Seeing his bluish skin on the mirror.
He was born with a rare congenital heart disease called tricuspid atresia. The doctor said that it was uncommon, as it only affected probably 5 in 100.000 live births. Normally, the doctor explained to him, blood flowed from the body to the right atrium, then through the tricuspid valve to the right ventricle and on to the lungs. But in his case, the tricuspid valve didn’t open, so the blood couldn’t flow from the right atrium to left ventricle, and eventually couldn’t enter the lungs, where the blood were supposed to be oxygenated. And without the oxygenated blood, there was no way to maintain the life of his body cells. He had undergone three surgeries to cure the condition, but still, the symptoms and complications sometimes came back.
He didn’t know what to say. He was just seven years old after all, when the doctor told him all those. But he did understand, that he had a condition that might lead him to his death.
When he asked his mother, the answer was the same. Even according to her, he had been suffering with the disease since his birth. His mother told him all the story – how his skin turned bluish just seconds after his birth, how his breath became shorter and shorter, how she yelled calling the doctors, the tests performed to discover his disease, the operation just two days after his birth right after the doctors finally diagnosed him with tricuspid atresia....
That’s enough. He didn’t want to hear about it anymore. He turned around slowly then ran to the front yard, ignoring his mother and his siblings who were yelling after him. He was about to open the fence and run away, only to be stopped by a tiny hand holding a heart-shaped red lollipop.
“It’s for you, Sergio,” the owner of the hand said, smiling.
He took a deep breath and eventually felt thankful that he didn’t run away. If he did, he wouldn’t be able to enjoy his favorite lollipop with his best friend.
“Thanks, Nando.”
===
Sergio and Fernando met each other on a beautiful afternoon in the summer. Sergio had just moved in with his family, because his father believed that the doctors in Madrid were better than the ones in Sevilla, considering Madrid was the capital city and anything. By the time they arrived, Sergio got an attack of arrhytmia so his parents carried him to nearest hospital, where he had to stay in for a few days. So, Fernando just got the chance to meet Sergio a few days after his arrival.
Sergio was sitting on his wheelchair on the verandah. His mother insisted him to use it because he had just been stayed on the hospital and his mother didn’t want him to catch arrhytmia again. Needless to say that Sergio hated it. He hadn’t known about his condition at the time and he didn’t understand why his mother didn’t allow him to run and play like other children. And to make it worse, she had to put him on the verandah, “to get some air”, like she’d said before. But instead getting some calming fresh air, Sergio felt like he was heatened up on the stove. People passing the street always looked at him with sympathetic look on their face, while the truth was they were asking themselves what happened with him and felt thankful that they weren’t him.
And there was this boy from next door.
The boy was rather cute, with straight blond hair covering his head and freckles splattered all over his face. He was older than Sergio, maybe a year or two. He wore a pair of Atletico Madrid jersey and held a ball on his hands. But it wasn’t his cuteness, his age, his jersey, or his ball that pissed Sergio the most. It was simply the fact that the boy kept on looking at Sergio, as if he was an incredible TV show or something. And Sergio really hated being looked like that.
“Why don’t you just get your lazy ass up and stop staring at me like that?!” Sergio yelled at him furiously.
The boy stumbled backward, picked up his ball quickly and hurried into his house. Sergio sighed in relief. At least, he wasn’t there anymore.
But Sergio’s smile faltered as fast as it started, because the boy got out of his house again, no more holding his ball but something red and little. Sergio could only stare at him as he climbed the fence and walked at Sergio’s direction. As soon as he arrived there, he handed over the thing on his hand to Sergio.
A small, heart-shaped, red lollipop.
“This is for you,” the boy said with a big cheeky smile on his face when Sergio didn’t make any moves to take the lollipop.
Sergio had never liked heart-shaped things. He thought it was too girly. But unconsciously, his hand reached out to take the lollipop. The boy’s smile widened as he watched Sergio unwrapping the candy and then rolling it in his mouth.
“How is it?” he asked brightly.
“Sweet,” Sergio answered, not knowing what else to say.
“You can say ‘thank you’,” he said, certainly knowing what’s on Sergio’s mind.
Sergio wasn’t sure whether the boy was joking or not, but he decided to play safe. “Well, thank you....” he hesitated, suddenly realizing that he didn’t know the boy’s name.
“Nando,” the boy smiled again. “My name’s Nando.”
“I’m Sergio, pleasure to meet you,” Sergio smiled back, knowing that this boy, his smile, and his heart-shaped red lollipop had settled the fate of them being best friends for the lifetime.
===
“I’m Joker and I will rule the world!” Nando shouted, pretending to shoot everywhere with his toy gun.
“Not so fast! The Mighty Sergio will stop you!” Sergio remarked, slipping his carton mask on his face while the other hand was so busy looking for his own toy gun.
Nando pointed his toy gun at Sergio’s direction. “I’ll slice you into pieces, Mighty Sergio!”
“Prepare yourself for death, Joker!”
They were in Nando’s room at the time, playing one of their favorite game – pretending to be superhero. Sergio wore his handmade carton mask and tied Nando’s old towel around his neck, while Nando used his mother’s lipstick to stain his lips red and smeared baby powder all over his face in an attempt to make himself looked like Joker.
One thing that Sergio liked from Nando was the fact that he didn’t mind to play the bad guy role every time they played superhero (although it always ended up with Nando was defeated, then he became Sergio’s ally). Sergio always played the role of his own-creation superhero called “The Mighty Sergio”, whilst Nando became “Nando the One-Hundred Faces” because he always played different villains – Lex Luthor, Joker, Green Goblin, Venom, Bullseye, Penguin, and anyone that crossed their mind.
They really loved it when their imaginations brought them further from the real world and closer to the fantasy world. Even Sergio could forget for a while about his weak heart. They would play until fatigue took over their body and then they would lie on Nando’s bed, talking about their newest adventures.
“Did you see me killing the aliens in one shoot?” Sergio asked excitedly.
“I like it more when I was about to rip your head off,” Nando laughed.
“I’ll never let you do that,” Sergio laughed as well.
But suddenly their laugh was interrupted by a loud knock on the door. Nando opened the door to face his angry-looking mother, who looked even angrier when she saw Nando’s face.
“Nando,” she said curtly, “what have you done with my lipstick?!”
Nando looked at Sergio, a sheepish smile formed on his red lips. “Ooops?”
No need to explain what happened next, and Sergio didn’t know either because he went home in no time when Nando’s mother started yelling. The next thing he knew, Nando came to his house, his left hand on his bum, while his right hand holding two heart-shaped red lollipops.
“Why do you give me this?” Sergio asked. “I’m the one who put you in trouble!”
“No, you’re not!”
“I force you to be Joker....”
“It is me who picked and used my mother’s lipstick.”
“But....”
Nando pushed the lollipop into Sergio’s mouth, shutting him effectively. For a few moments, there’s only silence surrounding them beside the sound of candy rolling in their mouth.
“Thanks, Nando,” Sergio said when he finished his lollipop.
“You’re welcome,” Nando replied, smiling at his best friend.
Sergio smiled back, knowing that Nando had forgotten this little problem. It needed more than just a slap on Nando’s bum to break their friendship.
===
Sergio dan Nando grew up. Now, they had been professional football players and played in different clubs, Sergio in Real Madrid and Nando in Chelsea. Their own business often kept them from seeing each other, but somehow, they still maintained their friendship. Even you could say that they became closer. The fans noticed their friendship eventually and called them “SerNando”, much to their excitement.
Even there was a rumour that they were gay couple. When Sergio and Nando heard about it, they thought it was really hilarious and funny. So, instead of being pissed with the rumour, they made jokes about it, even pretended to be real gay couple just to disgust people around them. They hugged, they put love words on their messages to each other, they called each other “honey”, “sweetheart”, “love”, and so on. But of course, in truth they were perfectly straight.
Sergio was happy with his life. He had a good job with great payment, his friends were nice, he had a beautiful and loyal girlfriend, and even his old disease seemed to disappear along the time. What could be better?
But of course, the road wasn’t always that smooth.
It was just a normal day when Sergio was training with the national team. His teammates and he were running around the field when Sergio’s heart suddenly beat faster than usual.
Sergio ignored it, thinking that it’s just normal to have his heart beat faster after long time of training. But as he forced himself to do the training, he felt the view on his sight became more blurry and more blurry....
Then the darkness claimed his sight, and he couldn’t remember anything anymore.
===
When Sergio finally opened his eyes, the first thing he saw was the clean white ceiling above him. Trying to move, he realized that he was lying on a bed. Sergio looked around and saw the infusion on his left hand. He was in the hospital.
But how could he be there?!
The sound of opened door suddenly interrupted his attempt to remember what happened, and Sergio turned his head to see the familiar-looking blond-haired man with freckles splattered all over his face.
“Sergio?” he called, his voice so low, almost whispering.
“Nando,” Sergio breathed. “What happened? Why am I here?”
“You lost your consciousness during training,” the older man explained, rubbing his hair while pulling a chair to take a seat next to Sergio’s bed. “I don’t know either. You just ran and suddenly you fell on the ground. The doctor haven’t said anything yet.”
Sergio fell silent, while his mind recalled the memories when he was still a kid and realized that he suffered with a heart disease called tricuspid atresia. Then he remembered that Nando didn’t know about his condition. Sergio hesitated, should he tell Nando about that, considering that he was Sergio’s best friend and all?
No. No. Sergio shook his head. There’s no chance for the stupid disease to come back. And there’s no need to make Nando worried.
“Sergio? What happened?” Nando asked with a worried look on his face.
“Nothing,” Sergio lied.
Nando didn’t look satisfed enough, and he was about to speak again when the door opened again and a man wearing a white coat entered the room.
“Mr. Ramos? I’m your doctor, dr. Sanchez,” he explained.
Sergio nodded, not really caring.
The doctor coughed, his eyes examining the papers on his hand before looking back at Sergio. He tensed at once, knowing that if a doctor did something like that, it never ended up well. “What happened?”
“Sometimes, people with tricuspid atresia need more surgeries in their 20s or 30s if the complications of the Fontan procedure can’t be controlled,” the doctor explained. “And we found that you’ve developed some difficulties at controlling your arrhytmia. Don’t you take any medications?”
“I....I don’t think that I will need it again. I’ve never gotten arrhytmia since I was a kid....”
Dr. Sanchez nodded. “The condition will be worse and worse over time. We can re-do the surgeries, but maybe it’s better to get a heart transplantation....”
Sergio’s jaw dropped at once. “What?!”
“I’m really sorry,” the doctor said sympathetically.
Sergio couldn’t think or even say anything, as the doctor’s words rang in his head, again and again. Even long after the doctor was gone, he still stared expressionlessly on the clean white walls as if they were the answer of his problem.
A loud cough suddenly brought Sergio back to reality, and he turned around to face Nando, but now he didn’t look so nervous as before. Instead, there was a pained look on his face.
“Why don’t you tell me?” he asked, sounded so upset.
Sergio flinched, because he didn’t realize that Nando had heard everything the doctor had told him. And now, pretending that he was okay would be just useless.
“I’m sorry,” Sergio finally said. “I just don’t want you to worry about me....”
“Fuck about that!” Nando snapped, his eyes gleaming with anger. Sergio had never seen him like that before. “I’m your best friend, for God’s sake! Best friends aren’t supposed to keep secrets from each other!”
“You don’t understand!”
“So it’s me? It’s me who have the problem with my heart and not willing to tell anyone else, including my best friend?!”
“Nando....”
“Why, Sergio?” Now Nando’s voice sounded more hurtful than upset. “Why don’t you believe me? Why don’t you tell me about your disease? You know you can rely on me....”
Sergio couldn’t believe what he had just heard. How could his own best friend be so mean to him, after the doctor had just told him that he had to undergo more surgeries and blah blah blah? Didn’t he understand Sergio’s feelings? Slamming his own fist to the bed, Sergio looked at Nando sharply. “So this is how you treat your sick best friend?!”
“So you’re playing your ‘I’m-sick-and-please-don’t-make-my-feelings-hurt’ card now?!” Nando said through gritted teeth. “Why, I never think you would be that low, Sergio.”
“Being best friends doesn’t mean I have to tell you all my secrets, Nando! I have privacy!”
“It’s not something you have to hide from me! Do you think I’m going to leave you just because you have the so-called tricuspid atresia or anything....”
“It’s not just a ‘so-called’, Nando. I really have it.”
“Whatever! The point is, you have been lying to me for all this years, telling me you’re okay while in fact you aren’t, and now suddenly you have to get transplantation....”
“SHUT UP, NANDO!” Sergio shouted loudly, finally unable to take it anymore.
Nando stopped talking at once with a surprised look on his face.
“Can’t you just shut your mouth and think for a while, what it feels like to be me?!” Sergio spat, with anger in every words he said. “I had this stupid disease when I was still a kid, yeah. But I don’t know that it will come again and definitely, I don’t ask it to come back! I don’t want you to be worried about me, Nando. Not telling you about my disease doesn’t mean that I can’t believe you!”
Nando took a deep breath. “Sergio....”
“Go away, Nando,” Sergio barked, not looking on his best friend anymore.
Nando turned around and walked outside the door without looking back. Sergio kept on looking downside until he heard the sound of banging door. Surely Nando was still mad at him.
Sergio took a deep breath. That was his first serious fight with Nando, and he knew that he didn’t want it to happen anymore. Just the thought of having your best friend so upset about you was really uncomfortable. Sergio decided to say sorry to Nando if the older man visited him again. And he would take the doctor’s advice to have heart transplantation.
===
One day, two days, three days left.
Nando didn’t come again.
Now Sergio had a good reason to be mad with that man. He didn’t know before that Nando was able to hold a grudge for a long time. And it just made him angrier and angrier over time. What kind of best friend was him? Or maybe he didn’t want to be Sergio’s friend anymore?
Sergio’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted when dr. Sanchez hurried into his room.
“We have found a heart donation for you,” the doctor explained. “And we have scheduled your operation in two days.”
“Who is the donor?” Sergio asked.
“A man died in car accident,” dr. Sanchez answered after hesitating for a few moments. “We have done some tests and his blood type is similar to you, so we hope your body wouldn’t reject this heart.”
Sergio took a deep breath. Actually he didn’t think his operation would be that fast. But well, he had stayed in the hospital for almost a week, so what was he waiting for? He should feel grateful that there was a donated heart for him, or else he might be ended under a grave so fast.
Yet, he knew what bothered him. His quarrel with Nando. And especially the fact that the man didn’t want to see him again. Even when Sergio asked his other teammates when they came to visit him, neither of them knew where’s Nando. Iker said that the blond striker didn’t come to training, but there was nothing else he could say.
Sergio knew that he shouldn’t be egoistic. Nando had every right not to visit him. And he had every right to live. He didn’t need Nando’s permission to have heart transplantation....right?
“Are you ready, Mr. Ramos?”
Sergio looked at his doctor. Though he put on a smile on his face, there was something in his eyes....like he was hiding something? But Sergio had been acquinted with doctors’ fake smiles, so he decided to pretend not to see it.
“Okay,” Sergio nodded. “I’m ready.”
Sergio walked around the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, carrying a ball on his hand. He was wearing his Real Madrid jersey as if he was going to have a match, but there was no sign of other people on the field. He was all alone.
Dropping the ball to his feet, Sergio began playing with it. He was so drown in that action that he didn’t realize that there was someone behind him, watching him in silence. So it’s no wonder when he felt a tap on his shoulder, he practically jumped up and turned around. Behind him, there was a blond-haired man with freckles splattered all over his face wearing a Chelsea jersey. His warm chocolate-brown eyes stared at Sergio’s smilingly.
“Na....Nando?!” Sergio gasped.
“Indeed I am,” he chuckled. “Why are you so surprised? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost or something....”
“No, of course not!” Sergio quickly said. “It’s just....I haven’t seen you for so long, since our quarrel because I won’t tell you about my illness....”
He laughed. “How could I stay mad with my best friend in the whole world?”
Sergio narrowed his eyes. “But you did leave.”
“Yeah, I know,” Nando spoke softly. “I’m really sorry, Sergio.”
Sergio took a deep breath. “Where were you, actually?”
“Oh, just travelling somewhere,” he said simply.
“It’s not helping at all, you know.”
Nando waved his hand. “Don’t think about that, it’s not important,” he said cheerfully. “The important thing is, I’m glad to see you all cured and healthy again.”
Unconsciously, Sergio touched his chest, feeling the beating heart inside. And this time, the heart beat steadily, without any sign of arrhytmia. A smile formed on his lips as he looked at his best friend again. “Thanks, Nando.”
Nando smiled back. “Will you forgive me?”
Sergio laughed and tapped Nando on his shoulder. “How could I stay mad with my best friend in the whole world?”
“Don’t copy my words!” Nando pouted in a fail attempt to show some anger.
Sergio just laughed again. They had been best friends for so long that Sergio knew that Nando was only pretending to be angry. Picking the ball from the ground, he handed it to the older man. “One on one?”
A devilish grin appeared on Nando’s face. “Is that a challenge?”
“Definitely.” Sergio smirked back evilly.
The two best friends positioned themselves, then Nando started dribbling the ball.
Sergio opened his eyes.
The first thing he noticed was the clean white ceiling above him, but it seemed different from the one he had seen before. Sergio looked around and saw the machines surrounding him. He’s still too weak to get up and the machines blocked him from seeing so far, but he was sure that there were many other patients there.
“Ah, finally you wake up.”
Sergio had to force all his strength to move his head, but finally he succeeded, and he saw dr. Sanchez on the side of his bed, writing something on his clipboard.
“Where am I?” Sergio asked, finding himself unable to speak loudly.
“Intensive Care Unit,” the doctor answered. “Your operation has been successful. We brought you here so you can recover yourself. By the time you’ve been healthy enough, we’ll move you to VIP room.”
Sergio nodded weakly. He was still feeling dizzy, certainly because of the anesthesia. But....why was he here? Wasn’t he supposed to play football with Nando at Santiago Bernabeu?
“Where is Nando?” Sergio blurted out.
Dr. Sanchez looked at him. “Sorry?”
“Where’s Nando?” Sergio repeated, looking around.
The doctor fell silent for a few seconds before slowly uttering, “Do you mean....Fernando Torres?”
“Of course,” Sergio sighed impatiently. “Who else?”
The doctor slipped his hand into the pocket of his white coat, pulling out a letter sealed in plastic. “Maybe you’ll understand when you read this. I haven’t opened it, but the envelope says that you have to read it. Don’t worry, it had been sterilized.”
Sergio rolled his eyes as he took the letter from dr. Sanchez. Slowly he opened the seal. Like the doctor had said, there was his name on one side of the envelope....in Nando’s handwriting.
Suddenly, Sergio’s hand started trembling. He himself didn’t know why. But he just had a feeling that something really bad would happen if he opened the letter....
Sergio clenched his fist. ‘Don’t be such coward,’ he told himself. ‘There’s no need to be afraid just because of a stupid letter. And what’s wrong with Nando’s handwriting?’
But still, his hands still trembled as he released the letter from the envelope. Opening the neatly-folded paper, he started reading.
“My dearest Sergio,
Typically Nando. Even in this stupid letter, he still pretended that he and Sergio were gay couple. And he definitely succeeded in making Sergio almost smiled while reading the first words. Well, almost. Because the next words weren’t that good.
“By the time you read this letter, I won’t be there anymore. I have gone to a place that I hope you won’t reach soon. I’m really really sorry for leaving you when you’re still angry at me, and I know it’s not a proper way to tell how sorry I am but I have no other choice. I hope you’re okay with that.
I’m sorry for my words before I leave you, Sergio. I’ve never meant to hurt you, frankly I didn’t know what happened with me either at the time. I guess I just didn’t want to accept the truth that my best friend was sick, that’s all. But I took it too excessively so...yeah. I did regret what I’d said right after I finished talking, but I was so stubborn that I refused to admit that I was wrong. So, we had our first serious fight....and I couldn’t stop blaming myself after that.
Knowing you, you might blame yourself for all that happened....but no, please. It’s all my fault. And don’t be sad, instead you should be happy for losing such a jerk friend like me.
Don’t be depressed or even thinking to join me. You still have a long way and a bright future in front of you, Sergio. Every time you feel despair and hopeless, just remember that I’ll always be there for you, watching you from up there although you may won’t be able to see me. So, live your life well and catch the stars above. I know The Mighty Sergio will be able to do it.
See you later in your dreams.
Sergio inhaled deeply, trying to fight the water that was going up to his eyes. Reading the letter, he knew what had happened to his best friend, though he still couldn’t understand how and why. But he shouldn’t cry. The Mighty Sergio would never cry.
But the letter hadn’t been finished.
“P.S: Keep my heart, will you?”
Sergio felt all blood drained out from his face as he read the five last words. What did Nando mean by writing them? Why did he ask Sergio to keep his heart? If he wrote it for his girlfriend, maybe, but for Sergio? Sergio knew, though he and Nando often pretended to be gay couple, Nando would never write such words to him.
Except....
Except he really meant it.
Slowly, Sergio touched his chest, feeling the steadily-beating heart inside, the heart that was successfully received by his body, the heart that gave him his life back. In a great effort, Sergio looked back at dr. Sanchez who was still standing on his side. “Is it....true?! Is it Nando’s heart that you transplantated on me?!”
The doctor nodded slowly. “Yes.”
Sergio wanted to yell and punch the doctor on his face but he was still too weak to do so. Besides, he started to feel tears stinging his eyes, and tears along with fury were never a good combination. So he just inhaled deeply and whispered, “But why? Why did you give me Nando’s heart? Why did you lie to me about the car accident?”
“I didn’t lie to you,” dr. Sanchez answered sharply. “The car accident part was true. Though I’m not really sure that it was an accident, the eyewitnesses said that he jumped right in front of a speeding car....”
“Stop it!” Sergio screamed, not wanting to hear about it anymore.
The doctor took a deep breath. “The point it, he was wounded severely and there was no chance for him to survive, but he did manage to write the letter and ask me to give his heart to you right before he died.... I don’t know why he did that. I’m so sorry for telling you that, Mr. Ramos.”
Sergio couldn’t say anything. The fact that Nando had sacrificed himself to give his best friend his healthy heart was still too much to bear for him. He pressed his hand on his chest again and closed his eyes, feeling the beat, ache, and sadness, all mixed up in this new heart.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The first tear formed on the edge of his left eye.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The tear dripped on his left cheek.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The second tear dripped on his right cheek.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
Tears streamed out of his eyes, falling on the paper, discoloring the ink Nando used on his letter, making the words written there unreadable anymore.
Months passed. Sergio had been completely healthy and even he started to play football again. Life had been going on pretty well, and Sergio enjoyed it.
But now he wasn’t on the training ground, nor playing in a match, nor even going on a medical check-up on the hospital.
He was standing beside a white marble grave, with Nando’s name engraved on it. It was the first time Sergio visited it, and frankly he didn’t expect it to be so simple and lonely. He thought that Nando would be given a monument or something. At least Sergio would do it if he was the one who designed Nando’s grave.
Actually, Sergio had prepared a speech for his best friend but he forgot it at once when he reached the graveyard. So, he just knelt beside Nando’s grave and touched the top of it.
“I know you can see me up there, Nando,” Sergio said. “I just want to say thank you for giving me your heart.” A faint smile formed on his lips as he touched his steadily-beating heart with his other hand. This heart had served him well, like Nando used to do when he was still alive. “I can’t speak well but....I want to say sorry to, for leading you to your death....”
The grave, of course, didn’t answer.
“Did you really commit suicide, Nando?” Sergio asked in whisper. “Why would you do that? Don’t you want to live your life and catch the stars, like you told me to do? You’re not supposed to die....you’re not much older than I am, anyway.”
His question was just answered by silence.
Sergio pulled out something from his pocket. “Sorry and thank you again, Nando,” he whispered. “I hope you can rest in peace. You will always be my best friend. We'll meet again someday...I don't know when. But for this time, I'll see you in my dreams.”
Still, there was no answer. Not that Sergio expected one, though.
“You have given me your heart, Nando,” Sergio smiled. “Now it’s my turn to give you mine.”
Sergio put the thing on Nando’s grave, slipping it under the flowers so that people wouldn’t see and take it. But he didn’t know, by the time he left, a great wind came, blowing the flowers away and showing the thing on the top of Nando’s grave.
A heart-shaped red lollipop.
Nando didn’t come again.
Now Sergio had a good reason to be mad with that man. He didn’t know before that Nando was able to hold a grudge for a long time. And it just made him angrier and angrier over time. What kind of best friend was him? Or maybe he didn’t want to be Sergio’s friend anymore?
Sergio’s thoughts were suddenly interrupted when dr. Sanchez hurried into his room.
“We have found a heart donation for you,” the doctor explained. “And we have scheduled your operation in two days.”
“Who is the donor?” Sergio asked.
“A man died in car accident,” dr. Sanchez answered after hesitating for a few moments. “We have done some tests and his blood type is similar to you, so we hope your body wouldn’t reject this heart.”
Sergio took a deep breath. Actually he didn’t think his operation would be that fast. But well, he had stayed in the hospital for almost a week, so what was he waiting for? He should feel grateful that there was a donated heart for him, or else he might be ended under a grave so fast.
Yet, he knew what bothered him. His quarrel with Nando. And especially the fact that the man didn’t want to see him again. Even when Sergio asked his other teammates when they came to visit him, neither of them knew where’s Nando. Iker said that the blond striker didn’t come to training, but there was nothing else he could say.
Sergio knew that he shouldn’t be egoistic. Nando had every right not to visit him. And he had every right to live. He didn’t need Nando’s permission to have heart transplantation....right?
“Are you ready, Mr. Ramos?”
Sergio looked at his doctor. Though he put on a smile on his face, there was something in his eyes....like he was hiding something? But Sergio had been acquinted with doctors’ fake smiles, so he decided to pretend not to see it.
“Okay,” Sergio nodded. “I’m ready.”
===
Sergio walked around the Santiago Bernabeu stadium, carrying a ball on his hand. He was wearing his Real Madrid jersey as if he was going to have a match, but there was no sign of other people on the field. He was all alone.
Dropping the ball to his feet, Sergio began playing with it. He was so drown in that action that he didn’t realize that there was someone behind him, watching him in silence. So it’s no wonder when he felt a tap on his shoulder, he practically jumped up and turned around. Behind him, there was a blond-haired man with freckles splattered all over his face wearing a Chelsea jersey. His warm chocolate-brown eyes stared at Sergio’s smilingly.
“Na....Nando?!” Sergio gasped.
“Indeed I am,” he chuckled. “Why are you so surprised? You look like you’ve just seen a ghost or something....”
“No, of course not!” Sergio quickly said. “It’s just....I haven’t seen you for so long, since our quarrel because I won’t tell you about my illness....”
He laughed. “How could I stay mad with my best friend in the whole world?”
Sergio narrowed his eyes. “But you did leave.”
“Yeah, I know,” Nando spoke softly. “I’m really sorry, Sergio.”
Sergio took a deep breath. “Where were you, actually?”
“Oh, just travelling somewhere,” he said simply.
“It’s not helping at all, you know.”
Nando waved his hand. “Don’t think about that, it’s not important,” he said cheerfully. “The important thing is, I’m glad to see you all cured and healthy again.”
Unconsciously, Sergio touched his chest, feeling the beating heart inside. And this time, the heart beat steadily, without any sign of arrhytmia. A smile formed on his lips as he looked at his best friend again. “Thanks, Nando.”
Nando smiled back. “Will you forgive me?”
Sergio laughed and tapped Nando on his shoulder. “How could I stay mad with my best friend in the whole world?”
“Don’t copy my words!” Nando pouted in a fail attempt to show some anger.
Sergio just laughed again. They had been best friends for so long that Sergio knew that Nando was only pretending to be angry. Picking the ball from the ground, he handed it to the older man. “One on one?”
A devilish grin appeared on Nando’s face. “Is that a challenge?”
“Definitely.” Sergio smirked back evilly.
The two best friends positioned themselves, then Nando started dribbling the ball.
===
Sergio opened his eyes.
The first thing he noticed was the clean white ceiling above him, but it seemed different from the one he had seen before. Sergio looked around and saw the machines surrounding him. He’s still too weak to get up and the machines blocked him from seeing so far, but he was sure that there were many other patients there.
“Ah, finally you wake up.”
Sergio had to force all his strength to move his head, but finally he succeeded, and he saw dr. Sanchez on the side of his bed, writing something on his clipboard.
“Where am I?” Sergio asked, finding himself unable to speak loudly.
“Intensive Care Unit,” the doctor answered. “Your operation has been successful. We brought you here so you can recover yourself. By the time you’ve been healthy enough, we’ll move you to VIP room.”
Sergio nodded weakly. He was still feeling dizzy, certainly because of the anesthesia. But....why was he here? Wasn’t he supposed to play football with Nando at Santiago Bernabeu?
“Where is Nando?” Sergio blurted out.
Dr. Sanchez looked at him. “Sorry?”
“Where’s Nando?” Sergio repeated, looking around.
The doctor fell silent for a few seconds before slowly uttering, “Do you mean....Fernando Torres?”
“Of course,” Sergio sighed impatiently. “Who else?”
The doctor slipped his hand into the pocket of his white coat, pulling out a letter sealed in plastic. “Maybe you’ll understand when you read this. I haven’t opened it, but the envelope says that you have to read it. Don’t worry, it had been sterilized.”
Sergio rolled his eyes as he took the letter from dr. Sanchez. Slowly he opened the seal. Like the doctor had said, there was his name on one side of the envelope....in Nando’s handwriting.
Suddenly, Sergio’s hand started trembling. He himself didn’t know why. But he just had a feeling that something really bad would happen if he opened the letter....
Sergio clenched his fist. ‘Don’t be such coward,’ he told himself. ‘There’s no need to be afraid just because of a stupid letter. And what’s wrong with Nando’s handwriting?’
But still, his hands still trembled as he released the letter from the envelope. Opening the neatly-folded paper, he started reading.
“My dearest Sergio,
Typically Nando. Even in this stupid letter, he still pretended that he and Sergio were gay couple. And he definitely succeeded in making Sergio almost smiled while reading the first words. Well, almost. Because the next words weren’t that good.
“By the time you read this letter, I won’t be there anymore. I have gone to a place that I hope you won’t reach soon. I’m really really sorry for leaving you when you’re still angry at me, and I know it’s not a proper way to tell how sorry I am but I have no other choice. I hope you’re okay with that.
I’m sorry for my words before I leave you, Sergio. I’ve never meant to hurt you, frankly I didn’t know what happened with me either at the time. I guess I just didn’t want to accept the truth that my best friend was sick, that’s all. But I took it too excessively so...yeah. I did regret what I’d said right after I finished talking, but I was so stubborn that I refused to admit that I was wrong. So, we had our first serious fight....and I couldn’t stop blaming myself after that.
Knowing you, you might blame yourself for all that happened....but no, please. It’s all my fault. And don’t be sad, instead you should be happy for losing such a jerk friend like me.
Don’t be depressed or even thinking to join me. You still have a long way and a bright future in front of you, Sergio. Every time you feel despair and hopeless, just remember that I’ll always be there for you, watching you from up there although you may won’t be able to see me. So, live your life well and catch the stars above. I know The Mighty Sergio will be able to do it.
See you later in your dreams.
Your best friend forever,
Nando.”
Nando.”
Sergio inhaled deeply, trying to fight the water that was going up to his eyes. Reading the letter, he knew what had happened to his best friend, though he still couldn’t understand how and why. But he shouldn’t cry. The Mighty Sergio would never cry.
But the letter hadn’t been finished.
“P.S: Keep my heart, will you?”
Sergio felt all blood drained out from his face as he read the five last words. What did Nando mean by writing them? Why did he ask Sergio to keep his heart? If he wrote it for his girlfriend, maybe, but for Sergio? Sergio knew, though he and Nando often pretended to be gay couple, Nando would never write such words to him.
Except....
Except he really meant it.
Slowly, Sergio touched his chest, feeling the steadily-beating heart inside, the heart that was successfully received by his body, the heart that gave him his life back. In a great effort, Sergio looked back at dr. Sanchez who was still standing on his side. “Is it....true?! Is it Nando’s heart that you transplantated on me?!”
The doctor nodded slowly. “Yes.”
Sergio wanted to yell and punch the doctor on his face but he was still too weak to do so. Besides, he started to feel tears stinging his eyes, and tears along with fury were never a good combination. So he just inhaled deeply and whispered, “But why? Why did you give me Nando’s heart? Why did you lie to me about the car accident?”
“I didn’t lie to you,” dr. Sanchez answered sharply. “The car accident part was true. Though I’m not really sure that it was an accident, the eyewitnesses said that he jumped right in front of a speeding car....”
“Stop it!” Sergio screamed, not wanting to hear about it anymore.
The doctor took a deep breath. “The point it, he was wounded severely and there was no chance for him to survive, but he did manage to write the letter and ask me to give his heart to you right before he died.... I don’t know why he did that. I’m so sorry for telling you that, Mr. Ramos.”
Sergio couldn’t say anything. The fact that Nando had sacrificed himself to give his best friend his healthy heart was still too much to bear for him. He pressed his hand on his chest again and closed his eyes, feeling the beat, ache, and sadness, all mixed up in this new heart.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The first tear formed on the edge of his left eye.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The tear dripped on his left cheek.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
The second tear dripped on his right cheek.
Thumpbump. Thumpbump. Thumpbump.
Tears streamed out of his eyes, falling on the paper, discoloring the ink Nando used on his letter, making the words written there unreadable anymore.
===
Months passed. Sergio had been completely healthy and even he started to play football again. Life had been going on pretty well, and Sergio enjoyed it.
But now he wasn’t on the training ground, nor playing in a match, nor even going on a medical check-up on the hospital.
He was standing beside a white marble grave, with Nando’s name engraved on it. It was the first time Sergio visited it, and frankly he didn’t expect it to be so simple and lonely. He thought that Nando would be given a monument or something. At least Sergio would do it if he was the one who designed Nando’s grave.
Actually, Sergio had prepared a speech for his best friend but he forgot it at once when he reached the graveyard. So, he just knelt beside Nando’s grave and touched the top of it.
“I know you can see me up there, Nando,” Sergio said. “I just want to say thank you for giving me your heart.” A faint smile formed on his lips as he touched his steadily-beating heart with his other hand. This heart had served him well, like Nando used to do when he was still alive. “I can’t speak well but....I want to say sorry to, for leading you to your death....”
The grave, of course, didn’t answer.
“Did you really commit suicide, Nando?” Sergio asked in whisper. “Why would you do that? Don’t you want to live your life and catch the stars, like you told me to do? You’re not supposed to die....you’re not much older than I am, anyway.”
His question was just answered by silence.
Sergio pulled out something from his pocket. “Sorry and thank you again, Nando,” he whispered. “I hope you can rest in peace. You will always be my best friend. We'll meet again someday...I don't know when. But for this time, I'll see you in my dreams.”
Still, there was no answer. Not that Sergio expected one, though.
“You have given me your heart, Nando,” Sergio smiled. “Now it’s my turn to give you mine.”
Sergio put the thing on Nando’s grave, slipping it under the flowers so that people wouldn’t see and take it. But he didn’t know, by the time he left, a great wind came, blowing the flowers away and showing the thing on the top of Nando’s grave.
A heart-shaped red lollipop.
-The End-
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