(Fanfic) Au Clair de la Lune

This is one of two Yoann fics I've ever written. Warning: character death ensued.

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Author: Mirano Ottawa

Title: Au Clair de la Lune (In the Light of the Moon)

Category: Romance, Angst

Characters: Yoann Gourcuff and an unnamed girl

Length: long hitter

Summary: A man with his dream to reach the moonlight.

Disclaimer: I do not own Yoann Gourcuff. It’s just a fiction, not a reality.

Author’s Notes: My first Yoann Gourcuff fic ever

01.   New Moon

“I want to reach the moonlight.”

The answer was uttered clearly. Suddenly the sound of muffled laughters interrupted the stillness of the class, while the teacher put on the sympathetic smile before shushing the children.

“Do you mean, you want to go to the moon?” the teacher confirmed.

“No,” he shook his brown-haired head in disgust. “I said, I want to reach the moonlight.”

The laughter got louder, even I chuckled a bit behind my palms. But his face remained firm, undisturbed, as if his dream wasn’t something so weird.

But I couldn’t help to be curious. Why did he want to reach the moonlight? It even wasn’t something solid! Although I was still at the third grade of elementary school at the time, I knew that moon doesn’t shine of its own, but reflects the sunlight. So, to satisfy my own curiosity, I approached him who was playing alone with the ball on the corner of the playground.

“Hi,” I greeted him.

My voice seemed to surprise him, because he dropped the ball at once. “Oh!”

“I’m sorry!” I gasped.

“Oh, no, it’s nothing,” he chuckled. “You just surprise me.”

I smiled back, watching as he started playing again with the ball. He was talented at it. I knew that he would be a great footballer later when he was older. But why his dream was so far from football?

“By the way, why are you here?” he asked me.

I blushed, because I had just been thinking about him. “Nothing,” I said quickly. “I just want to know....why do you want to reach the moonlight?”

He looked at me, without losing any of his touches on the ball. “Why do you ask? Is that so important?”

I turned redder. “No, but....it sounds a little insane, you know.”

He smiled dreamily. “Well, you have seen the moonlight, right? It shines on the night. In your darkest hours, in your worst dreams, you know that it’s there, watching you while you’re sleeping, even the new moon that comes in such a way that you can’t see it. And you’ll feel safe again, knowing that there will be no harm upon you.”

I stared at him with my mouth wide-opened, astonished with his choice of words. Of course, I had seen the moonlight so many times, but I never thought about it that way.

I quickly shushed the thoughts off my mind. It wasn’t the right time to speak poetically. And I felt it’s my duty to make him see the truth about moonlight. The scientific truth. “I know it’s beautiful, Yoann, but the moon doesn’t shine on its own. It reflects the sunlight. Don’t you want to reach something shining on its own? Or you just want to be someone’s lame reflection? Besides, the sunlight gives us life and anything.”

“No,” he answered, the same dreamy smile still on his face. “I know about that. But don’t you know why humans can’t reach the sun? Because the sunlight is too hot. It will burn you. You won’t find the same problem with moonlight.”

I opened my mouth to say something, but shut it again because I had nothing to say. Partly because his opinion was too good to be broken, the other part because I didn’t want to interrupt his dream about moonlight anymore, and the last part....maybe just because I looked at his amazing green eyes, knowing that he was serious.

And it’s the first time I realized, how much I admired him.

===

02.   Crescent Moon

I was raged in fury. This was my birthday and he was supposed to come and celebrate it with me. But I had no idea where he was. Even when I tried to call him, he didn’t answer.

I looked outside the window. It was crescent moon at the time, and the moon sent its soft silvery light inside my room. Definitely something he would really like if he was here. I smiled a little while remembering his addiction to moonlight. But the smile quickly faltered because he’s not here now. He must be somewhere, admiring the moon so obsessively that he forgot to celebrate the birthday of his own girlfriend!

I decided that he wouldn’t come. While the thoughts of the best ways to kill him whirling on my mind, I slammed myself to the bed and pulled the blanket around my body. But by the time I were about to close my eyes, I heard the familiar knock on my balcony door.

“Excuse me, is there anyone ordering birthday cake here?”

I practically jumped off the bed, my brown eyes immediately met his green ones. There he was, with a forgiving smile across his face, and he held a box on his hands, which I was sure there was a birthday cake inside it.

I opened the balcony door and glared at him, unsure what to do first – slapping him in the face, hugging him, or thanking him for the birthday cake? He solved the problem for me by putting the cake on a small table then hugged me tightly.

“Sorry, I’m late,” he murmured, lips pressing on my ears.

“Terribly late,” I grumbled.

“It’s the cake,” he defended himself. “I don’t know that it needed so much time to bake a cake and when it came out it didn’t turn out well so I had to bake again....”

I cut his words. “Wait. You mean....you bake the cake yourself?”

He rubbed his hair. “Sort of. I suck at baking but I want to make it special for you.”

I blushed. “Thanks, Yoann.”

He smiled. “Come on, don’t you want to see it?”

I opened the box and found a crescent-shaped chocolate cake, with all the surface covered with silver icing. He had drawn a smiling face on the cake with a cherry as the eye and pieces of chocolates as the smiling mouth. I couldn’t say anything when I saw it, I could only stare at it for a while before returning my attention at Yoann.

“It’s a crescent moon,” he explained, which I found unnecessary.

I rolled my eyes. “I know, Yoann. I’m not stupid. We have known each other for years.” Then, seeing the pained look on his eyes, I softened my voice. “But it’s beautiful. Thanks.”

His green eyes brightened at once. “Really?”

I nodded, chuckling slightly. “Only, the moon doesn’t smile.”

“Oh, but it smiles,” he protested. “The moon always smiles. If it’s full, it smiles widely and triumphantly because it could show all his face to the world. When it’s crescent, it cannot smile so widely because most of its face is hidden. But it doesn’t want to disappoint you, so it smiles – a warm and motherly smile – and sings lullabies for you until you fall asleep.”

I shook my head. Of course, it was just one of his wild imaginations about moonlight. I decided to stop it by blowing out the candle and cut the cake in half.

“What’s your wish?” he asked.

I winked playfully. “If I tell you, the wishes wouldn’t come true.”

He laughed. “You don’t believe in my imaginations about moonlight, but you do believe that the wishes you say before blowing out the candles will come true?”

I raised my eyebrows. “You don’t believe in wishes?” That was something new.

He shrugged. “I don’t know. Every year, I wish that my dream would come true but it never happen.”

“But your dream has come true! You are a footballer now, you play for Rennes, I’m sure you will reach your glory soon if you keep playing well....”

“No,” he shook his head. “I mean, my dream to reach the moonlight.”

I sighed. Of course, he had to say that.

“I believe, the moonlight is not only a lame reflection of sunlight,” he continued, certainly knowing what’s on my mind right now. “You can say it’s not something solid, but for me....it keeps a secret. A mystery that anyone has never solved. Maybe....there’s a dreamland there. I haven’t known it yet. But I believe, I can find the way to reach the moonlight....if I walk on the right path.”

I stared at his eyes, and he stared back at mine. His eyes were shining softly, and I could see some silver sparkles inside them – like the moonlight. I smiled and kissed him on the lips, knowing that my efforts to make him see the reality would only end in vain. So, I decided to keep my thoughts for myself.

But there was still one thing I wanted to know.

“What would happen when you reach the moonlight? Will you stay there and forget all about me?” I asked, grabbing his hands tigtly, not wanting to let him go.

He chuckled. “Of course not, sweetheart,” he said, planting a kiss on my forehead. “We will get there together. And if you can’t, I’ll keep a place for you there until you’re able to join me.”

“I believe in you, Yoann,” I replied, leaning my head against his warm body.

One hour later, I had lied again on my bed, preparing myself to sleep. Before shutting my eyes, I took one last glance on the moon. And I swore that I could see the moon smiled at me, a warm and motherly smile.

I stared at it for a while before turning off my light. So, maybe his imaginations about the moon wasn’t all wrong. But of course, reaching the moonlight was still an impossible dream....

===

03.   Half Moon

“What’s the point of this?” I asked, when he and I were sitting around the table on the balcony of a restaurant. “It’s supposed to be a candlelight dinner, but where’s the candles?”

He chuckled. “I prefer moonlight dinner.”

Typically him. I rolled my eyes then looked at the night sky. And there was the moon, half moon to be exact. “Isn’t it better to have a moonlight dinner when it’s full moon?”

He shrugged. “Who knows? Half moon is beautiful too.”

I knew there was something behind it, but I decided not to complain. We ate our dinner while talking about our daily life. We had been so busy with our own jobs recently that we didn’t have much time to meet each other. So, having dinner together like this was a relief.

By the time we had finished our meals and I was telling Yoann about my new partner at work, suddenly I realized that he paid no more attention at me. He was staring at the moon.

I gritted my teeth. Okay, this was ridiculous! What’s the point of asking me to have moonlight dinner if he always ended up admiring the moonlight? I coughed loudly to catch his attention.

“It seems like the moon is more beautiful than I am, Yoann?” I asked sarcastically.

He burst out laughing. “Don’t be jealous,” he said. “I’m just looking at the moon....and imagining what will happen when I reach the moonlight.”

I sighed. “Why are you so serious? Let me tell you, it’s just a silly dream, for God’s sake!”

“Because I want to make sure that you’re there with me.”

I looked at him in confusion. “What?”

He pulled out a small black box from his pocket. When he opened it, I saw a diamond ring inside. Surrounded by the darkness, the diamond glittered like a living thing.

I stared at it with my mouth wide-opened. “Yoann....”

“Will you marry me?” he asked clearly, his eyes shining with hope.

I swallowed. Of course, I loved him and I always knew that he’s the one, but I hadn’t known how to feel when he finally proposed me. Now I knew. Smiling at him between my happy tears, I forced this words out from my trembling lips, “Yes, Yoann. Yes, I will.”

He smiled back in delight, then he slipped the ring on my finger. I looked at the ring, admiring the beauty of it. But of course, it was more beautiful because of its meaning for me.

“Why do you propose me on the half moon like this?” I asked in a joking tone.

“Because....I think it’s the best to represent this moment,” he said with blush staining his cheeks. “I mean....when I find you, it’s like I find the other half of myself who was hidden....like this half moon.”

I couldn’t help myself to blush, too. “Thanks....”

He kissed me passionately on my lips. “I love you, sweetheart.”

“And I love you too,” I replied, kissing him back.

===

04.   Full Moon

I looked outside the window. It was full moon at the time, and the moon smiled at me with its wide and triumphant smile. Even I didn’t need Yoann to tell me that, as I could see it by myself.

Mostly, because he wasn’t there anymore.

He had reached the moonlight.

Blinking back my tears, I looked at the empty chair beside me. He used to sit there, and then we would admire the moon together. After our marriage, I had learned to let him with his imagination, and even sharing it with me. Of course, I always thought that it was silly, but now I felt like I would give anything in the world to be with him anymore, listening to his silly dreams. I closed my eyes, trying not to feel the ache deep in my heart.

“Mommy?”

The voice of Sofie, my five-years-old daughter, brought me back to reality. I turned around and saw her in her white nightgown, holding her teddy bear.

“Sweetie, why are you here? Why don’t you sleep?” I asked, kneeling in front of her.

Her green eyes – which were definitely the same with her father’s – were full of tears. “I miss Daddy.”

“Oh,” I sighed, then I pulled her in my embrace. “I miss him too.”

She looked at me right on my eyes, and for a second, I felt that it was her father staring at me. “Mommy, where’s Daddy now?”

“Come here.” I brought her closer to the window, then I pointed to the moon. “Daddy’s there.”

She looked at me in confusion. “On the moon?”

“Yes, sweetie,” I whispered. “He has reached the moonlight.”

“Will I meet him again?”

“Of course,” I smiled. “He will prepare the place for us there. Some time later, we’ll fly there and we’ll live together again with Daddy. I promise.”

Sofie smiled back sleepily. “I love you, Mommy.”

I brought her back to her bedroom and watched her sleeping for a while. Then I stood up and looked at the moon again. 

It remained smiling widely and triumphantly, but I realized, there was something more.

It sang a lullaby for me. I could hear it now. 

I immediately felt relaxed, knowing that Yoann was really there, ready to protect me from any harm coming to my way. And I knew, someday we would be together again, in the light of the moon.

I wrapped my blanket around my body and fell asleep.

-The End-